Treatment so far

Hello Void!
Well, no-one's reading so I guess I should address my actual audience as opposed to my desired one.
So, treatment so far.  Well, in a way, none.  They aren't starting my chemo yet because of my lack of babies so far.  So, I'm going to have eggs harvested in case Prince Hiddleston comes along and wants kids.  This means that I'm having to take lots of fertility meds so they, the medical people, can get as many eggs as possible.  Weirdest part is that I, the girl who would rather risk almost any disease than get an injection, have to give myself shots.  It was one a day but now it is two.  And they are more than a centimetre long which is SUPER long for someone who sees a millimetre shot as an arachnophobe would see a tiny jumping spider.  You know, a giant tarantula poised to kill me.  The drugs also make me feel super stressed and moody.  And since I'm a teacher, bursting into tears at work is ridiculously dangerous.  The kids can never see your weaknesses or they will kill you.  Especially the kindy kids.

I have had tests though.  I mentioned the echocardiogram which was actually kind of cool but I've also had a CT scan and a bone scan thing.  The CT scan was weird as the contrast made me feel like I had peed myself.  I was warned this would happen which is good as apparently a patient who wasn't warned, thought she had and just let the rest go.  I don't understand why the stuff does that but it really feels strange.  The bone scan was just dull as I had to stay still and try to not think about how I wanted to stretch my feet.  I was meant to have an MRI but I was deemed ineligible for the study which would have given me 2 free MRIs.  I was actually really upset not to get my MRIs because they sound cool.  I love magnets and they are an extremely practical use of them.  If I didn't have such a repellent personality and had got married and had kids, I wouldn't have to have the fertility treatment which excluded me from the trial.
I don't know if I actually have a repellent personality but I do have massive anxiety making me unable to go out and meet people and even have normal, platonic friendships, let alone a romantic relationship.  My brain sucks.  Am I sure the cancer isn't there instead?  No, probably just a chemical imbalance that makes me anxious and depressed.  Fortunately, I don't see having a tumour in one of my breasts, losing my hair and needing surgery making me feel any worse.

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